i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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