Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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