well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
