Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize