I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize