im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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