Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
