We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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