he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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