Christians are straight up FREAKS
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Randomize
