How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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