Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
