Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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