am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
