By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There's always time for handjobs
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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