I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
