loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
