Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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