I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
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I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
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Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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