I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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