Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize