yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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