two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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