note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
