Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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