We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize