There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
