I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
