wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
