I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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