OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
