Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
