You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
