Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
