butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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