So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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