We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
