apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
