Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
