so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
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I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
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i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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