Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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