It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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