Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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