So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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