he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
