If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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