You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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