Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
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