So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
