R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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