With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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