You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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