Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
