the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
